Nightmares
by HeartKnight31320
Summary: When everything falls apart there is only one person Jason can turn to. Even if he's not himself at the time. Father/Son fic'.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own DC, if I did I'd give Jason a happy ending.**_

_**Synopsis: When everything falls apart there is only one person Jason can turn to. **_

_**Even if he's not himself at the time. Father/Son fic' Maybe Slash later...not **_

_**sure. **_

The water pounds down outside in the dark city and she watches, guitar cradled on her lap and tries to feel anything but apathy for the lost souls. Her Star fire bright eye's look out and they are as frozen as a thousand tundra's, What had Raven called her again? _A beautiful fool_, naïve and innocent once. But now she was warped, broken by the cruellest fate.

"_Regrets collect, like old friends here to relieve your darkest moments, I can see no way, I can see no way And all the ghouls come out to play." _She sings softly.

And she's trying to remember what it was like to care- she can almost feel the ghost of that flame in her soul desperate to hurt no one but save everyone. When had that changed? Because now she felt cold, desolate, and its killing her.

He hears her voice in his room as he stares at the ceiling, baseball cap lying on the floor by his ratty bed, its nowhere near the luxury his pseudo Father had given him. Ollie had lavished so much money on him so he didn't feel guilty when he didn't pay attention

"_And every demon wants his pound of flesh, but I like to keep some things to myself, I like to keep my issues strong. Its always darkest before the dawn."  
_  
Sometimes he felt that fate wanted to rip him apart, tear him to pieces just to see him struggle to pull himself together, there was someone out there watching as he clung to life desperate, _desperate_ for a saviour any saviour. Drugs, Drink, One night stands, he had screamed to any and every omnipresence and he was still waiting for an answer

_"And I've been a fool and I've been blind I can never leave the past behind I can see no way, I can see no way I'm always dragging that horse around_." She continues

The shower hits him, water mixing in with the blood, heavy on his skin as he sits under it, his dark damp hair falling in front of his eye's as he cries silent sobs, wanting so badly to scream at someone _anyone_ for an answer, any answer! And he knows the water can't cleanse him, can't wash away his sins but he's so desperate for redemption, he wants his Father to look at him again, like he used to.

He contemplates the razor in his hand once more, wonders whether he should just end the pain, let it escape from him, bleed onto the ground. But he's died once and he doesn't think he could again, could he? No one's too sure- but he knows he can still bleed.

She continues singing, words of hope she doesn't believe but hopes will at least make Roy smile. Jason doesn't, he seems incapable sometimes and sometimes she hates him for it. But then she remembers being a little girl sobbing as her Father watched her go and didn't stop them taking her away and she understands- because she had felt that faith shatter as well.

Bruce was Jason's father in all but blood and he didn't avenge him well not that Jason could see, all he wanted, like anyone else was to know he was important. And when a raging psychopath kills you and your father barely gives him a slap on the wrist, you begin to feel hurt, then that hurt turns to anger and then you fall into it. The darkness and depression that consumes you and you _claw_ at the light trying and trying to cling onto a hope as the world around you turns grey and even though you can feel you can't _feel_

"_You've stopped singing." _She hears Roy say and she looks at him, looking to see his own haunted eye's and she nods

"Where's J'?" She asks him and Roy laughs bitterly

"I don't know." He replies honestly and she sighs

"We should find him, I don't feel right not knowing where you both are." She says calmly, because anyone could tell you she had lost enough to lose them, _to lose them_ would shatter her.

He's cold now and feeling funny, he can't remember who he fought though- but he remembers a flash of light and then a daze, and now he's here and its getting darker as he hears her scream, _please Mum no more crying_.

"_Do you see that Jay?" She asks as he looks out in the park, to see a light blue bird, dark markings around it's eye's almost like an incomplete mask as its dark eye's catch his own as the little bird shakes its patterned wings_

"_What is it Mum?" He asks curiously tipping his head as the little bird hops_

"_A blue Jay." She replies, giggling as he looks up in shock before giggling as he looks shocked at the bird_

"_Jay? Like me?" He asks and she crouches down and winks, tapping his nose_

"_Exactly like you. He's a little Fearless bird, not afraid of anything." She says softly _

_"Even his Daddy?" Jason asks and knows he's not said the right thing when his mum's bruised eye's close sadly and she kisses him softly_

_Before she fades away, a maniacal laugh taking her and everything far away._

"Koriand'r!" Roy shouts as she runs into the bathroom in shock ahead of him, her auburn hair trailing behind her, he hears a scream and sprints to follow her.

Koriand'r stares at the door, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door, it should be so _easy_ but she can't, this act is going to tear up her family, she knows it- But Jason needs _him_. Even if she disagrees, So catching her reflection in the mirror she checks that she looks respectable in her tight black skinny jeans and T-shirt with a logo across, a gift from Jason who even when money was short had made sure he had enough money to buy her a Birthday present, She was doing this for him she reminded herself as she knocked on the door.

It was opened by an old man and she tried to remember what Jason had told her on one of there midnight chats

"Are you Alfred?" She asks and sees the man give her the '_once over_' As Roy called it

"I am, and who may you be Miss?" He asks his eye's watching her as she sighed and ran a hand through her hair revealing the bags under her eye's

"_I'm here about Jason_." She said softly and Alfred's eyes widen for a nano second before he is back and composed

"Of course, will you be needing to talk to Master Wayne?" Alfred asked and noticed the shudder that ran through her body

"_Please, we don't know what to do any more. We can't protect him." _The Tamaranian Princess said softly as she stepped into the Mansion.

_The large palaces were beautiful, created from a crystalline type material and structured so large, but they were nothing compared to the gardens- and back then she had loved the gardens. Back then when her mother used to smile, instead of being filled with such a heavy sadness she had taken Korinand'r on long walks where she had been allowed to run around free, and sample the sweet air and watch as the skies above burnt brightly, fiercely stunning. And her sister Komand'r had played with her often, back when her smile hadn't been stolen and turned into a bitter scowl, her sister had been heralded as the most beautiful, and everyone said Kori' was following in her footsteps._

This place was nothing like the Palace before but it held the same feel of love of Protection and old money

"_Miss Starfire I presume?" _A voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked up from the Earl grey she had been served sometime in her musing

"_Mister Wayne_, Jason has told me a lot about you." She said calmly as she looked up at the handsome man, crows feet barely touching his natural handsomeness, but his eye's _ooh_ his eye's- she could see a million universes in them, full of pain and hope and undying courage. Just like Jason had whispered to her as he sat drunk on the sofa on his birthday, trying _so hard_ to forget and she had let him- because all she wanted was to forget as well

"Is he well?" Bruce Wayne asked, his voice near emotionless

"Yes and No, we need your help." She spoke uplooking back down at hands

"Then I will help. If you tell me what is going on." Bruce said calmly and Koriand'r looked up and smiled softly

"_G'luthnog." _She whispered and he looked at her calmly

"But you must tell me what is going on." He continued and Koriand'r laughed coldly

"_We don't know_. He came back from a solo mission, Me and Roy were supposed to go but he said no. Said he didn't need our help to..."

"..._Take down a no good scum bag preying on innocent Children. You've done enough this week Kor' Just- rest, will you. And I swear to all that is holy Roy if you even think of following me I will tear you balls off." Jason growled at them and Koriand'r scowled_

"_She's a Witch Jay! What if you get hurt?" Roy put in before she could say anything and Jason placed on the red domino mask, looking amused at Roy, a smirk on his face highlighting his more delicate features_

"_Then I get hurt Roy-boy. And don't call me Jay'." Jason retorted and Roy scowled_

"_You're just like Dick sometimes! What is it with the Bat clan and stubbornness? What do you have to prove any more?" Roy hissed and Jason growled and before Roy could twitch he found a gun at his head_

"_Don't you __**dare**__ compare me to them! Especially to __**him**__!" Jason growled and Roy laughed_

_"Look I get it- I do okay. But you aren't alone Jay' not any more, what the hell is the point of us if you won't let us help?" Roy asked and Jason swore under his breath_

"_For fucks sake Roy. Do you not understand what day it it?" Jason snapped and Koriand'r gasps_

_"Jason...it is that day correct? The day you died." Koriand'r says softly and Jason twitches, pain visibly flashing across his face and he sighs pulling back the gun and placing it in his holster_

"_Just let me do this by myself." Jason pleads softly, sounding for the first time, his age, Nineteen years old_

"_Just come home." Roy says calmly and Jason flinches slightly pulling his hand up and placing on his red mask, hiding his face_

Bruce watches her impassively, the look Is purely Jason and she finds herself amazed at their similarities

"_He left, and he came back home...he doesn't speak for a while after missions, he goes to shower. But I began to worry, he and Roy are all I have in the world you understand. But what I found..." Koriand'r says softly trying to figure out how she'd tell him_

"_Miss Starfire, I have been patient, but I don't have all day- What is wrong with Jason?" The Batman growls at her and she feels her tears prickle with tears_

" _He, he's a child again. And all he can remember is you." Koriand'r whispers and Bruce stares in shock_

"A child? He didn't know me as a child!" Bruce states coldly and Koriand'r laughs

"Until he was reborn as Robin, you gave him a childhood where before he was miserable, so his mind in order to cope has blocked away everything but you. His Father." Koriand'r says softly and Bruce falls into his seat

" _His Father?" He asks and Koriand'r laughs_

"_Why do you think he doesn't come home? He's so afraid his Father won't love him any more, he was insane for such a long time. But he's better now...well he was before this." Koriand'r said calmly_

"Well what do you want from me?" Bruce asks and the Tamaranian Princess sighed

"We need you to come and see him. Me and Roy are trying to track this witch down but its hard when one of us has to be at home watching him and all he asks for is you." Koriand'r sighed and Bruce rubs a hand across his eye's and back through his hair and looks straight at her

"_I'll be there tonight." He says and Koriand'r smiles. She has some shopping to do.  
_

Roy looks down at little Jason, who looks up at him, dressed in Jason's old leather jacket which was three times too big for little Jason and tiny jeans Koriand'r had bought. The kid is adorable, with darkish red hair which compliments his pale skin and big, _big _blue eye's. Jason is playing with a toy Roy had '_borrowed'_ and the kid looks perfectly amused, lips pressed together in concentration

"Uncle Roy, Why are you looking at me weird?" Jason asks softly another thing that gets Roy, the little boy has the gentlest disposition, unlike the younger Jason he remembers. Though he supposes this Jason is confused and younger- he had been found in the shower by his Uncle Roy and Auntie Koriand'r, and he didn't remember anything except his Daddy and the man in black who protected him at night.

"_Just thinking Kiddo'._" Roy tells him and Jason beams at him, before yawning and it is only then Roy notices how late its got

"Come on then Jaybird, bed time." He says softly and Jason laughs, eerily like Dick – he supposes its another Bat clan thing

"Okay." Jason laughs and takes Roy's hand as he is led to the bedroom, Roy not noticing the shadowed figure in the corner, but Jason does. But he keeps quiet, a part of him, the little part hidden in his soul tells him that this man is safe, this man is _home. _So he crawls into bed and kisses Roy on the cheek smiling as his Uncle says goodnight and walks out of the room, closing the door

And Night wing steps out of the shadows.

**Reviews are appreciated, as I like to know what you think. But if you don't want to I won't know ;P**


	2. Chapter 2

"_Carry on my Wayward son, they'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more." _

_-_ Kansas, Carry on my Wayward son

Richard 'Dick' Grayson had been watching his little brother for months, his wayward little brother but still _his_. It made him feel better knowing his younger brother was at least safe, a couple of times he suspected that Jason knew he was there but his younger brother didn't show it so Dick put it to the side and kept an eye on the boy, who was now a child.

"_Dick?" _ Jason asked, the young child looking at him confused and Dick smiled

"_Yeah buddy, its only me again." _ Dick said calmly and Jason grinned at him

"_Dick, Why are you nice to me now?" _ Jason asked and Dick winced knowing that when Jason had come onto the scene he had largely ignored the boy and just brushed him off

"_Because I realized how stupid I had been and how much I had missed out on." _ Dick said softly and Jason grinned brightly

"Why hasn't Daddy come yet?" Jason asked breaking Dick's heart as he did. Jason didn't know that he had died and didn't know that he was older and so cold, all he knew was that Daddy hadn't come for him yet. And as fun as it probably was being around Roy and Koriand'r, they weren't Dad.

"He'll come, baby brother. But he won't be happy to see you staying up so late, come on I'll tell you a story." Dick said softly and Jason smiled and Dick sat on the edge of his bed, not stupid enough to think that Roy hadn't seen him before, even if the red head ignored him.

Bruce slipped into the room to an interesting sight. His oldest and currently Youngest son lying together, both asleep, Dick's arm curled over Jason, protecting him

"_Do you all have an aversion to the door?" _ A cocky voice drawled and Bruce looked up to see Roy watching him amused

"_No, but I had to make sure this wasn't a trap." _ Bruce replied and Roy scowled

"_We don't go after good guys." _ Roy hissed looking offended, his mask off so Bruce could see the angry eye's and Bruce sighed

"_How long has Dick been coming here?" _Bruce asked the red head who scowled and gestured outside the bedroom, Bruce following him willingly

"He's been following Jason for months, we were going to do something- but Jay's adopted a 'ignore and it'll go away' policy." Roy said calmly but his eye's betrayed his anger at his friends actions

"What would be your policy?" Bruce asked coldly and Roy snorted

"_I would do what I always do." _ He murmured and Bruce laughed

"Running away isn't an option here Roy." He says coldly and Roy growls

" We only ran from what would harm us. I believe you call it retreat._" _ Koriand'r says from behind him and Bruce looks at her, at both of them. Children who fate had picked up, played with then dumped

"Jason was never at harm with me." Bruce finds himself saying and Kory laughs bitterly

" He was a danger to himself, A creature who believed that he was unworthy of love. A shell of a warrior, _a soldier you disposed of! _He isn't a twenty year old man in his mind, he is a fifteen year old boy who hasn't been able to stop fighting for five years._"_ Koriand'r says, her eye's fiery at the injustice her friend had to face

" We've been wanting to bring him to you for a while...since hearing from Superman about you vouching for us. He's been..._I don't know_. But he's not like he used to be." Roy says closing his eye's in frustration because he hates relying on this man, he hates feeling like a sidekick again hates feeling like a novelty again.

"Has he shown signs of Suicidal tenancies?" The Bat asked, because Bruce Wayne couldn't objectively ask if his wayward son wanted to commit suicide.

"_Its hard to tell_ ." Roy replied and Bruce sighed sadly before he heard rustling and saw Dick at the door of Jason's bedroom

"_Dick_ ." Bruce greeted, taking control from the Bat who was desperate to go back out into Gotham

"Bruce, he's waking up." Dick said calmly and Bruce nodded and headed towards the bedroom, where his boy lay blinking sleep out of his eye's.

Jason looked tiny, tinier than Bruce ever remembered him. He had cherubic features with pouty lips, dimples and mussed up dark hair, Bruce removed his cowl as he saw Dick draw the curtains and as Jason wiped sleep from his eye's, those bright emerald eye's which for the first time in _so _many years lit up with wonder when they saw him

"Daddy!" Jason cries and Bruce opens his arms without thinking letting his little boy jump into them

"_Jason." _ He murmurs his mind screaming at him to take his little bird away and hide him, hide him from anything further that could hurt him

"_Daddy_ , I missed you- where were you? Can we go home now? Can I have candy? Uncle Roy says you don't like Candy because you're bitter- are you bitter Daddy?" Jason rambled and Bruce laughs and pulls Jason up into his arms standing up and feeling Jason grip onto him like a spider monkey clinging onto him like Jason was afraid he would disappear and Bruce could only return the favour.

_On the other side of Gotham in a dark warehouse the shadows stirred and a maniacal laugh was heard. The sound echoing across the building and another laugh joined in, lighter, childlike but as insane as the other as chaotic._

Bruce tucks Jason into his old bed that night and he shouldn't be so satisfied, especially when Jason has essentially been robbed of moments of his life _again_, but his little boy is home

And for now that's all that matters so as Jason whines that he wants Bruce to stay because there are monsters under the bed, Bruce does. Because he won't let his son be terrified by monsters again, so he lays down and lets sleep take him over, one arm over his son- protecting him best he could in the land on dreams

The light creeps into Jason's room the next morning, finding the gaps in the curtains and waging war on the land of dreams, a war it wins as Bruce groans and shuffles, waking up and he feels something wriggling against the movement and as he wakes up he finds two large, emerald eye's taking up his entire vision

"Morning Daddy! Can we have Pancakes?" Jason squeaked and Bruce groaned and pulled Jason into his chest, burying his face in Jason's hair

"_Sure buddy_, just give Daddy a moment." Bruce muttered into Jason's hair and the boy giggled against Bruce's chest

"_My nose is squished!"_ Jason cried out and Bruce laughed and loosened his grip allowing Jason to wriggle and move so Jason was sat crossed legged by Bruce's head, his fingers, tiny and delicate touching Bruce's hair and giggling as Bruce groaned and tried to swat his hands away, but he reached forward and attempted again, ever the trouper. But again Bruce swatted his hands away- this happened twice more until Bruce sat up and Jason squealed in laughter as Bruce began tickling him.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Jason chanted through his giggling and Bruce laughed as he moved out of bed, picking Jason up and placing him over his shoulder, like a sack of potatoes.

Koriand'r and Roy come over later, Dick not long after them- they want to check how Jason is because he's there's as much as he is Bruce's. They find Jason playing with a toy car whilst the television besides him plays cartoons with dancing frogs and funny rabbits

" Uncle Roy!" Jason cries and runs over to Roy who catches him as he runs and spins him around, listening to the chattering and remembering distantly in his mind the laughs of another child (1) he puts on a smile and listens as Jason talks away, including his Auntie Kori' every so often and tries so hard not to think of _her_ because if he does he'll break

"...and then I ate my waffles and they were nice and I ate them all." Jason rambles on and Roy smiles encouragingly watching as Kori' walks and speaks to Bruce and Jason notices this as well and he suddenly grows serious and looks into Roy's eye's with saddened emerald eye's

"Can I tell you a secret Uncle Roy?" He asks and Roy smiles

"You can tell me anything buddy." He says calmly and Jason wriggles in Roy's arms so he's next to his ears

"_I saw a monster in my dreams last night_ ." Jason whispers and Roy blinks

"A monster? What sort of monster?" He asks and Jason whimpers slightly

"_A scary one. _ He had funny looking green hair and was holding a metal stick. _And I kept on screaming _but no sound came out- and then I woke up, but Daddy was asleep and I didn't want to wake him up, because then he would be grumpy. _I'm scared the monster will get me._" Jason tells him and Roy knows he's pale as he hugs Jason tightly, stroking through his hair

"Don't worry Buddy, the monster won't get you." Roy promises '_Not this time'_ and Jason smiles blind fully trusting Roy and kissing his cheek before he begins rambling about something nonsensical. But Roy can't listen now because he's imagining his best friend, alone, screaming for help as everything collapses around him, just as Lian had. And if Roy holds Jason a little bit tighter- he doesn't notice.

He won't let the monsters take away something good again, especially _that_ monster.

_**-Heartknight31230-**_

**Not very long, but I wanted to try and get something out quickly. Thank you to everyone who faved', followed' or Reviewed last time- you are all great.**

**I wanted Lian to be involved in the outlaws so I'm going to fuck with the timeline and say that Lian was killed when she was younger. I think I may mention later how she dies, but If I don't, assume she was in a house that collapsed and died.**

**Thanks for reading and sorry this took so long, I really have had little to no time to write, Reviews are appreciated greatly :)**

**HK**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise.**

**Hello lovelies**

**I want to thank you all for reading, and I'd like to make it clear here that there are two different ages. Flashback to three weeks previous and Then back to the future guys.**

**Also to clear this up, Jason will not be paired with Bruce. Just No.**

**Three weeks ago- Marvel Nightclub, Gotham 21:00**

Jason growls under his breath as he catches sight of Dick in the shadows, watching him. He ignores the bat brat and takes a sip of his drink- knowing this is the reason that his '_big brother_' is watching him, Why doesn't Dick just back off? He's been noticing his brother following him a lot more lately and its annoying him

"Jay Bird! You coming for Karaoke?" Roy calls and Jason can almost _feel_ Dick bloody laughing- fucker that he is

"Call me that one more fucking time _Speedy_ I fucking dare you." Jason growls and Roy laughs as Jason stands up

"That's it big boy up to the stage we go." Roy chuckles

"Why am I doing this again?" He grumbles and he hears a giggle and looks over his shoulder to see Koriand'r

"You know why Jay' we need a distraction whilst me and Roy go and..._talk_ with our client." Kori' explains and Jason snorts

"So why not just pull your top off Kori' I'm sure that will get their attention." Jason drawls and Kori' sneers

"Perhaps...if this wasn't a gay club, filled mainly with _men_." Kori' drawls and Jason runs a hand through his hair

"So why not Roy?" Jason asks tiredly and Roy snorts

"Because I don't look like a Twink. Sorry Jay-bird. It's all down to you to use that pretty face of yours, maybe shake those hips a bit." Roy drawls and Jason scowls, drawing pouty pink lips together

"I don't look like a Twink!" Jason hisses blushing when Roy pointedly looks at a group of men leering over at Jason, who remembers that he is wearing tight black jeans and an even tighter shirt, showing off his biceps and slender frame. He hears a chuckle and _knows_ that it is Dick

"What am I singing anyway?" Jason asks and Roy snorts

"Whatever you want, just get us a distraction pretty boy." Roy drawls and Jason stretches and steps onto the stage, he's by no means shy- but he's only ever sung around Kori' and Roy, he's not even to sure that Bruce has heard him sing, because a bad ass like him singing...it doesn't work, it makes him seem all sensitive and shit, he looks over the cover song and finds one he wants to cover and looks over to the small band and wonders to them talking to them quietly and securing himself a guitar, he places the guitar over the shoulder and takes a seat on the stall in front of the microphone stand, smirking slightly

"Hello, my names Jay and I'll be singing Titanium by David Guetta and Sia? Is that how you pronounce her name?" Jason laughs, easily gaining attention with his slender frame and gorgeous face, messy dark hair on top of lightly tanned skin, Richard 'Dick' Grayson scowls, wondering what his little brother is up to now

"_You shout it out, but I can't hear a word you say_

_I'm talking loud, not saying much. _

_I'm Criticized but all your bullets ricochet_

_You shoot me down, but I get up_ ."

Jason sings and Dick is stunned for a moment, Jason could sing? He knew the kid could play guitar, Bruce had thought that Music would help the kid stop being such an anti-social little brat when he was younger but he supposes Jay-bird fits in a lot more now

"_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away  
Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium." _

Jason sings and he's definitely getting attention, the club is staring at him now, couples dancing and enjoying this young man with a cocky smirk who's beautiful green eye's are lit up in the clubs lighting, his whole body is moving with the rhythm and _what a body_

"_Cut me down__**  
**__But it's you who has further to fall__**  
**__Ghost town, haunted love__**  
**__Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones__**  
**__I'm talking loud not saying much."_

Richard watches his brother amused, Jason moves with the same kind of grace as always and for such an unsociable little prat he sure knows how to draw in a crowd. He bets the little shit is aware of him there though, because his little brother keeps looking up almost _exactly_ where Dick is. But Dick doesn't care because hearing his hard ass little brother singing is worth the hassle later on

"_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away  
Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium."_

Roy laughs as he hears his friend in the '_meeting room_' Kori' is glowering threateningly over the man hand glowing brightly

"You have sold drugs to _children_! Hood is not happy!" Kori' snarls at the man Carl Rossi who is whimpering

"I had to pay him off! I'm sorry, please don't hurt me- I have a daughter!" Carl screams and Kori' laughs darkly

"_Who_?" She hissed and Carl whimpers

" Please _please_ he's probably watching! I can't cross him- _I can't_." Carl whimpers again and Roy slams his fist down

"WHO?"

" _Stone-hard, machine guns  
Firing at the ones who run  
Stone-hard, as a bulletproof glass._" Jason sings, looking out into the crowd to see Kori' and Roy arriving back, faces as cold as stone and he smirks slightly

"_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away  
Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium." __**(1)**_

Jason finishes and as the crowd cheers he smiles, its fake but they don't know that and fall right into his palm

"Thanks for listening guys, hope I didn't ruin your night." Jason says softly into the microphone and the crowd cheers at him and he smiles again, almost genuine this time

"Well then. I better stick around here a bit longer- right? So who'll buy me my next drink?" Jason asks, grinning cheekily.

And Dick slips away, eye's narrowed.

**Now**

Richard's curled up with Jason, watching cartoons. He's requested time off work- Family emergency and who's going to stand in the way of Bruce Wayne's son?

" Dick, who's Tim?" Jason asked and Richard almost flinches, Tim's been away on a mission for Young Justice but will be arriving in the next couple of days back home. Bruce is going to brief him before hand- but who knows how Jason will react to the '_replacement'_

"He's another big brother Jay-bird." Richard says calmly and Jason giggles

"I know _that_! But where did he come from? Did his Father and Mummy not love him too?" Jason asked and Richard looks down in shock

"Jay', Do you remember your Mum and Dad?" Richard asks and Jason nods

"Mummy only loved me once upon a time and Father never liked me. Then Father went and Mummy got sad and Mummy went away and then Daddy found me." Jason tells Richard, his eye's bright and Richard sighs

"Well Tim is like us, but not totally. Tim has a Daddy who loves him, but he also has Bruce as a Daddy too." Dick says calmly and Jason scowls

"He gets _two _Daddy's who love him- Why?" Jason asked and Dick sighs and hugs Jason

" Some people are just lucky Jay-bird. _Some people are just lucky." _Dick says softly and he and Jason remained curled into each other, Dicks' arms encasing Jason in a protective cocoon

"What else do you remember Jay- about being little?" Dick asks and Jason mumbles into his chest and Dick looks up when Bruce walks in, his pseudo father nodding at him with a smile

"Sorry about that, meeting over ran." Bruce says calmly and Jason looks up as he hears his fathers' voice and squirms out of Dicks' arms and runs to his Father who picks him up, laughing as he does, Bruce chuckles and looks at Jason

"What have you been doing today then?" Bruce asks and Jason giggles and chatters away, Bruce noticing the dark look on his oldest sons face as he watches Jason.

"Hey Jay-bird why don't you go find a Jacket we can go on a walk." Bruce says calmly and as he goes Dick looks at him

"He remembers some of his childhood-how do we even know how much he knows? I was so sure before that he doesn't know- but how can we be sure?" Dick says calmly as he watches Jason disappear out of view

"What do you propose I do?" Bruce asks and Dick sighs

"I don't know. Can we not just ask J'onn to look over him?" Dick asks and Bruce runs a hand through his hair

"_I don't want to_ . But we might have to- _we don't know how stable he is_." Bruce says calmly and Dick nods sadly

"You take him for a walk. I can contact J'onn." Dick says calmly

"Invite him for dinner." Bruce says as Jason runs into the room, dressed in a large red hoody, Alfred following with a red scarf, Bruce snorts at the irony as Jason grabs his hand.

They don't go far on a walk, Bruce isn't ready for the press to notice Jason until he can find a way to explain this mess to the league, but the Wayne manor Gardens are beautiful, especially now Autumn is almost on its way, red and gold leaves litter the emerald green grass and every so often Jason will pounce on a pile, listening to the leaves crunch and crackle beneath his feet

"Daddy, Daddy! Look a Squirrel!" Jason calls and Bruce looks up to where Jason is looking to see the small ruby furred creature which is grooming its fur, nose twitching as it looks down and notices its being watched by Jason, whom stares up in wonder, his own nose attempting to wriggle like the creatures who watches back curiously as Jason and Bruce remain silent, just watching it- before a gust of wind rustles the leaves in the tree it is in and the Squirrel scurries away and as if that had broken a spell over the Father and Son, Jason runs away from the tree and through the garden, lightly leaving over and into piles of more leaves and every so often stopping to look behind and make sure Bruce is still there, this continues on until Jason across the ground and his body freezes.

"_It's a blue Jay." The lady whispers, beautiful eye's saddened, as she tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, examining the bruise on his cheek. Jason looks out from his bedroom window at the sad little bird in his hands, he had found the bird before where some of the older kids had broken its wings and left it for dead, but he couldn't- wouldn't let the bird die, so he had brought it home to the woman who kissed the owies better when Father got mad_

"_Will he be okay Mummy?" Jason asks curiously and the woman kisses his forehead, her scarlet hair tickling his nose, but he doesn't mind._

"_We'll take him to an Animal Doctor my little Jay-bird." Mummy whispers._

_But they never get a chance as the front door slams shut and Fathers angry voice roars through the house, the smell of the angry drink on his breath_

"_BOY!" He snarls_

Bruce reaches Jason as he's crying, rocking on the wet ground as he see's what caused Jason so much pain, a little dead Blue Jay

"_Please I'll be good, I'll be good." _ Jason is whimpering as Bruce lifts him up and Bruce flinches himself, as he holds Jason to him tightly kissing his forehead and rocking him as the child's breathing becomes panicked stuck in the flashback, Bruce walks Jason away from the bird and hurries back to the manor, Jason crying into his shoulder

"_Daddy, Daddy, save me...I don't want to die." _ Jason whispers as he falls asleep, the slow rocking sending him to sleep as

**2 weeks 6 days ago**

Jason wakes up in his bed, head throbbing- as he has a funny feeling he had a little _too_ much last night, he's surprised that Dick didn't take the drink from him though, he's under age. But he supposes Dick was trying to be subtle about the whole stalking thing

"You up Jay-bird?" Kori' calls and Jason groans and turns away from the noise of his friend and turns away from the sound

"_Fuck off Kori'." _ Jason hisses and he hears a rough laugh

"So you don't want to know what we found out last night then Jay-bird?" Roy's voice comes suddenly, right by his ear, hot breath tickling his neck and Jason suddenly realizes that Roy is his new pseudo older brother, and he got another dick head.

"_Why won't you die, you fucker." _ Jason grumbles light heartedly and Roy snorts in amusement and unceremoniously drags Jason's smaller body off the bed, letting him fall onto the floor, Jason's hands still clutching desperately to the bed covers **(2)**

_**-HK-**_

_**Thanks again for reading guys, and just to clear up the flirting in the club- Jason was maintaining cover, it would have looked stupid if he hadn't. **_

_**I choose Titanium for the simple reason I thought it fit better than the**_

_**Offspring's -"You're going to go far kid" in a club scene (Which is actually my song of choice when I'm thinking about how to write Jason). So sorry its all cheesy singing and stuff, but they wanted a distraction and Jason is pretty and shiny and Jensen Ackles voiced over for him in "Under the red hood." And Jensen is pretty and shiny and sings like an angel. **_

_**I've had the pleasure of waking my little brother up like this, though he was younger- and not drunk in the slightest (I am waiting until he is old enough to have his first hangover, it will be so much fun) you'd be surprised by the single minded determinedness of teenage boys (who have difficulty in completing simple homework tasks on time) when it comes to an extra 2 minutes in bed.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Let me go, I don't want to be your hero**_

_**I don't want to be a big man**_

_**Just want to fight with everyone else**_

_**Your masquerade**_

_**I don't want to be a part of your parade.**_

_**- Hero, Family of the year**_

J'onn J'onzz came to Wayne manor to find it in disarray, and a small dark haired child in the centre of it, resting in the arms of Bruce Wayne himself, Alfred himself led him to the man who was rocking said child in his arms.

"_J'onn_ glad you could come." Bruce greets him, hardly looking up and clutching the child in his arms tightly, eye's furrowed in concern as the boy slept

"This is Jason?" J'onn asked dropping his human attributes and using his green skin as he let a telepathic wave out and connected with the child's mind, latching onto it and feeling the turmoil the tiny creature was in

"_Indeed, _ though we do not know how Jason he truly is." A voice said from behind J'onn who looked to see Richard, he smiled calmly and shook hands with the young man who came forward to greet him

"Then allow me to find out."

Jason's mind is a battlefield and J'onn pulls out quickly, curious as to how defended the child's mind is

"I cannot get into his mind, he has blocked me out. Perhaps your presence will help soothe him." J'onn says softly and Bruce sighs and nods and J'onn smiles softly.

And Bruce takes the plunge.

**2 weeks, 6 days ago**

Jason cradled his coffee, curled up on the battered old sofa in their 'living room' a term which had confused Kori' to no end once upon a time (_surely you live in all rooms? Is there more living in this room than most?) _

"Okay Jay-Bird?" Roy mocked as his slightly hungover friend looked over at him, crumpled baggy clothes making him look his age for once

"_I will end you." _Jason growled and Kori' laughs as she walks into the room

"I see the Princess is awake." Kori' says calmly and Jason snorts at the irony then sips at his coffee

"Aaw no fair, how come I get a threat and you let her tease you!" Roy whines and Jason laughs

"She can beat me up. I genuinely can end you." Jason says calmly, eye's sparkling and he and Kori' laugh as Roy splutters in indignation

"Wha-I- _you little brat!_" Roy huffs and Jason smirks before it drops and his eye's darken, his entire demeanour changing as he remembers what last night was for

"Did you find out who we're supposed to be going after?" Jason asks and the room goes quiet

"We're hearing whispers, _or rather whimpers. _It looks like some old friends are getting restless in Arkham and are reaching out." Roy says and Jason scowls

"If its Joker I'm not getting fucking involved- last thing we need right now is Bats watching our arses." Jason drawls and Roy sighs

"Not directly, all we know right now is Klarion is involved and we all know how much trouble _he_ can cause."

An agent of Chaos and a Creature of Chaos magic, Jason sighed and rubbed at his head

"_Someone pour me a drink." _ Jason murmurs and Kori' snorts

"I doubt it would help much, do you know what to do?" She asks, hand on hip and Jason yawns and rolls his shoulders back and lies his head back exhausted

"_No_, Dick always dealt with him, he never turned up under my watch." Jason says calmly and Roy snorts

"Then do we ask for help?" Roy asks and Jason shakes his head

"_Not yet_ . Last thing we need is a bat brat getting in the way." Jason says calmly and Roy snorts

"You worried Big bro' will go all overprotective?" Roy asks and Jason scowled as Roy and Kori' laughed

"Fuck off Harper."

_**Now**_

Bruce finds himself in darkness, surrounded by ghost like figures, watching him from the shadows as they run around giggling (A/N They're in Jason's mind now)

"_Daddy's here, Daddy's here!" _ They call in echoes and Bruce turns around seeing a door in sight

"I don't understand." Bruce growls and J'onn sighs sadly

"It is not uncommon for abused children to set up a place to hide within their minds, Jason appears to be better then most at this." J'onn says calmly and Bruce smiles sadly

"So through the door?" He asks calmly and J'onn nods

"Be warned though Bruce. Through the doors will be memories that will upset you." J'onn says calmly and Bruce sighs but nods and heads towards the door.

(A/N- most of what's next, if not all, will be memories and will all start with an _italic _sentence, centred, Jason's subconscious thoughts will be in **bold** and the rest will be in normal writing)

"_It hurts please, no more, no more!" _

Bruce recognises Jason's voice instantly and all of a sudden he finds himself in a dingy apartment, the smell of alcohol heavy in the air so much so that this small grotty apartment smells more like an English pub, stale but bleached as if someone had tried to scrub away the scent of drunken men and women.

He growls as he looks down and sees _his_ Jason, crying desperately as he is laid on the floor in a foetal position, a man kicking and beating the young boy who is screaming pained, eye's that are neither blue or green but yet both flashing between a sapphire blue and a dark emerald green as bruises of yellow and purple and red litter his body, blood soaking pale skin

"_How dare you!" _ The man screams at the little boy who is whimpering, his thin body shaking as he sobs

"_Please Father! Please, I was just hungry!" _Jason sobs into the foul floor, fingers desperately gripping, but finding no purchase on the floor

"Stealing from me will you little brat. You are lucky I don't kill you!"

"_**Please, someone kill me, please, please, please"**_

Bruce jumps in shock as he hears Jason's voice right next to him and J'onn places a hand on his shoulder

"It is Jason's subconscious thoughts, they will be littered around and most likely not pleasant. But perhaps they will help you understand." J'onn says gently and Bruce nods and tries to block out the image of the boy on the floor, screaming and sobbing for someone to save him

"_**Anyone, please, anyone." **_

And then the memory ends replaced by a music which calls from the next door. Bruce hesitates but there is something about the warmth radiating from the room which draws him in

"_No one there is melancholy, it's an isle of happiness.__  
__Don't you keep your dreamboat waiting, hope you have a pleasant stay"_

Frank Sinatra. Bruce's mother favoured this song and apparently so did the young woman by the bed, looking down at a beaten and broken boy who is smiling sadly up at the woman, who has tears streaming down her cheeks as she strokes his cheek gently with one hand, her other hand stroking Jason's hand in her own

"I wish I was stronger." She whispers and Bruce watches as Jason laughs coldly, his eye's jaded and distant

"_So do I_." He whispers

"_**I wish I could kill him, for all that he's done to me." **_

"_**He loves you- you know, under all of that. He does love you. As do I." The woman, who Bruce supposes is Jason's mother says softly and brings her child's hand to her lips and kisses the knuckles gently**_

"_**This isn't love Mama', love isn't supposed to hurt so much."**_

"_I don't think I believe in love." _Jason whispers and his mother moves and sits so she is on the side of the bed, she leans down and hugs Jason tightly

"_If I could I'd prove to you that there Is such a thing, but know that even if you don't believe me, I love you." _She whispered

Bruce stared at the scene sadly, it certainly explained Jason's attitude, unfortunately the scene was drawing to a close and a door was appearing in the distance.

Not noticing the eye's in the darkness watching him.

**-HK-**

**I owe you all like the biggest apology, this was meant to be longer but I wanted to get it out. My laptop charger broke grr and it cost about ****50 to get a new one (I'm a student!). I know it's not much but I thought I'd rather post this then leave you hanging for a while.**

**I want to thank you all for your Faves, Follows and Reviews. You honestly light up my day. **

**HK**


	5. Chapter 5

_****__**Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger**__**  
**__**And I realize that empty words are not enough**__**  
**__**I'm left here with the question of just**__**  
**__**What have I to show except the promises I never kept?**__**  
**__**I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets**_

**The Artist in The Ambulance - Thrice**

_Then_

Sometimes the world is too big for Jason.

He gets overwhelmed by the stars and the sun and the nights and the day's that seem to roll on eternally never ending and dancing. He's told that there's more than that- that around that is a universe that is constantly growing and changing, full of stars and mysteries and around that all death comes to all. Stars grow and they fade, exploding or imploding creating holes of such darkness or burning in a bright beautiful supernova which destroys in all it's horrifying glory. The world is so big as well, full of 7 billion people who's hearts all beat to a never ending song and they laugh and they cry and some of them hurt so badly, some of them can't see the dawn that rises up in the sky chasing away the reflections of lost lights and bringing a brilliant blue or stormy weather, snow or hail.

But some of them are full of hope and faith and it's so beautiful they see the world and they _believe_ that it's so full of good even in the face of such darkness that some part of him cries out to it drawn to the goodness in humanity.

Sometimes Bruce was too big for Jason.

His Father was like a star, twinkling in the distant but as you got closer Bruce was all burning, bright and dangerous drawing you into an all consuming warmth and a fierce protectiveness, when you were family with Bruce you were family _forever, _though Jason stayed away, because he knew he may be Bruce's, but Bruce wasn't his. He was the disappointment, the one that was never quite good enough and he knows Bruce tried so hard but his Pa' had been right. He was a screw up and always would be.

The world was too big for people like him and as he sits on the edge of the roof, legs dangling off the edge as a cigarette lies between his lips he wonders, not for the first time, whether he was better off dead.

_Now_

_The Flash was on television again..._

Jason leans forward, hands on the glass of the shop window, as Bruce watches the memory and the old clip of Barry Allen. His old friend all smiles behind the familiar red mask, a tiny figure is next to him dressed in yellow and clutching onto his mentor who has a hand on the small of the tiny red head's back

"_Wow." _Jason is whispering looking at Kid Flash and Flash with a glimmer in his eye's, he's older in this memory Bruce notices, around ten and his shirt is too big for him, there's a starved look in his eye's and Bruce wonders just how much time Jason spent on the street as a child

_**'Kid Flash has that look in his eye's, I wonder if the Flash knows his kids just like me?' **_

_The thought spooks Bruce. Because if what Jason is insinuating is true then he needs to keep a closer eye on Wally, though he had always wondered why Wally and Jason got on quite well when Dick had left the two together. He had spotted the two laughing away at private little jokes that got Dick angry like a toddler who was watching his favourite toy being mangled by a younger sibling._

"_I don't like that insinuation." J'onn speaks out loud and Bruce laughs bitterly_

"_It makes me wonder how many children I've let down." Bruce says calmly remembering all the time a too thin little speedster had 'crashed' at his house, curled up on the sofa, only slightly taller then Richard had been._

_But this wasn't about Wally, although it would be a conversation he would be having soon with the red head...and the scene was breaking up_

_Then _

Klarion was a big foe, he was usually under-estimated but the kid had the power of pure chaos and for the right price could be bought by anyone.

Even the Joker. They had gotten the information after another raid, a conformation to a suspicion that Joker had hired out a shit crazy boy-toy.

Jason was wary of magic but magic in the hands of a madman? Pure chaotic fucking magic on a Psychopath who had beaten a teenage boy to death with a crowbar_ (Tell me does it hurt more this side or this side?) _They were fucked. He wouldn't call Bruce though, _he couldn't_, the man was too fucking moral Joker needed to be killed and that was that, the world wasn't safe with the mad fucker and Bruce didn't _understand _

"_Though he's never died." _Jason murmurs taking a drag of his smoke, then exhaling, letting a cloud rise into the air above him

"Do we call in the league for this?" Roy asks and Jason almost berates himself for not noticing the red head sneaking up behind him

"No. We aren't sidekicks any more Roy." Jason says coldly knowing it will rile his friend up, Roy growls

"I know that Jason! _Damn it, I know!_ But Klarion working for _him_, you said it yourself Jay', We don't need Bats' on our arse for this! Let the fucking Justice league deal with this one!" Roy snaps and Jason scowls and turns around to face Roy

"_We can't_. If we could runaway I'd be leading the charge, but we've got a duty to all those fucking little people that the league forget exist and those idiots will spend a couple of hours fighting, lock Joker in the same cell he's escaped from a thousand times and give Klarion a slap on the wrist- meanwhile the Joker escapes and has new plans and more people die, more families are torn apart, then we're left to clear up the mess and get the streets back under control! How the fuck can we let the league deal with this?" Jason asks, his voice desperate and his body shaking in anger

"_We're going to die aren't we." _Roy murmurs and Jason laughs coldly

"It wouldn't be the first time."

Now

They had been searching through memories for what felt like forever and Bruce had felt tears escape his usually solid grip of them as he watched the systematic abuse towards a boy that he loved _so much_ and he understood for the first time in a long time things he hadn't understood before, but they had reached the final door, and J'onn looks over at him

" I fear that I cannot enter this door." J'onn says calmly and Bruce sees black tendrils surrounding the door and then a high chilling laugh surrounds the door and Bruce sees Jason, _his Jason_, tall and wearing the common leather jacket as he leans against the door, but his face...his face.

The Jokers trademark paint has never been so chilling as it is now, painted onto this shade of his child (1)

Jason grins at him and giggles, insanely tipping his head to the side, like a crow as he hops forward

"_Hi." _ Jason greets and wiggles his fingers and Bruce steps back out of instinct, J'onn touches his shoulder

"This is not Jason, this is a broken piece of the boy you call Jason- but it is not him." J'onn says calmly and Jason laughs

"_This is the piece you left to burn._ I counted down, you know that Daddy-o, counted down to the last second and up until then I believed you would save me. _But even my real Daddy didn't want me and I was no Dick...so why save me?" _Jason drawls cutting into Bruce with every word

"_I tried Jason, _ I tried so hard." Bruce offers up, because he doesn't want to tell this bitter, painted child that he had been cut to pieces tearing through that forsaken building, he didn't want to tell this _fake_ Jason that his heart had been breaking and the tears had been blurring his vision when he finally found the broken body of his little boy, his little soldier.

"You know that's what Momma' used to say, right before she let Pa' beat me." Jason drawls and it's bitter and horrible and Bruce growls

"What's through the door Jason?" He asks and he hears a scream, a familiar scream and he pales

"_No_ ." Bruce whispers and Jason laughs as creeping tendrils around Bruce and J'onn attack, Jason giggling insanely as he turns around and smashes his fists against the door, three times until the door cracks and a brilliant white light flashes out

_Then _

Roy and Koriand'r are asleep when Jason leaves, creeping from the building and not regretting drugging his friends drinks. This mission is his. Somewhere in the back of his mind he tells himself he's being foolish and that he'll need the back up but on the other hand he knows Joker better than they do. He's seen the man in the last moments of his life and the crazed eye's have haunted his dreams since, sometimes he thinks part of him will always be entwined with the psychopath and he _hates it._

So now he'll end it.

_Now_

Dick looks as Bruce and J'onn gasp and wake up suddenly his eye's going to Jason as Alfred checks Bruce and J'onn, the little boy lets out a low whine and wakes up

"_Fuck it all, what's happened to my head?" _ Jason hisses as he sits up and rubs his head

"...what's happened to my voice?" Jason asks in a squeak and he seems to realise he is somewhere else and his head swivels around until his eye's catch Dicks and he glares

"Dickie boy, what the fuck am I doing here?" Jason asks waving a small hand at Dick and then catching sight of his hand.

And promptly fainting.

_**HK**

Tim hasn't been Joker-fied yet.

_**Hi guys sorry for the wait schools been bitching at me 5ever about homework I shouldn't have to do because I'm quitting the course I'm on. But fuck Logic. Technically it's exam season but no Study leave for me because the exams are all at the end of the 2 years.**_

_**Also a little heads up, my updating will be slow at best, this isn't because I hate you and I find updating dull but because School is dumping a load of crap on me and then other personal reasons are drowning me at the moment. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm struggling at the moment.**_

_**Sorry about that though; and thank you to all you wonderful people who are Faving' or Following or those blessed one's who review. You've no idea the smile you bring to my face and I hope you're as happy as your Reviews or your Faves make me.**_

_**Hoping you're all Okay**_

_**HK**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Then **_

He had lost the lead. Joker hadn't turned up and Klarion was hard enough to find on a good day, but fuck it if today was a good day it was his death day (and hey where was his cake) and he was in his shower covered in bruises blood pooling at his feet because although Joker hadn't been there in person he had left enough minions behind and some new friends of his, including the Scarecrow- because go figure nothings ever fucking easy is it? But he had a new lead, a witch who had it out for Klarion and all things considered that was better then fucking nothing.

Now he just had to sneak past Kori' and Roy and hope they weren't too pissed off about the whole, you know, drugging them.

"Good morning Jay-bird." Roy's voice came as Jason exited his room later on fully dressed and clutching at his domino mask

"Aah...you're awake." Jason observed and Roy laughed bitterly

"Where the fuck have you been?" Roy asked in a growl and Jason scowled

"Just out." Jason replied and Roy laughed coldly

"So you didn't go and follow the lead on the Joker by yourself." Roy snarled and Jason scowled

"He wasn't even there." Jason replied defensively

"But he could have been." Koriand'r's voice came, soft but disappointed and Jason snarled

"As it is he wasn't, and I have a new lead. A witch." Jason replied and Roy sighed

"We're coming with you." Roy told him and Jason scowled

"No." He replied

"Jason, we can help let us help." Kori' begged

" I don't need your help to take down a no good scum bag preying on innocent Children. You've done enough this week Kor' Just- rest, will you. And I swear to all that is holy Roy if you even think of following me I will tear you balls off." Jason growled at them and Koriand'r scowled

"She's a Witch Jay! What if you get hurt?" Roy put in before she could say anything and Jason placed on the red domino mask, looking amused at Roy, a smirk on his face highlighting his more delicate features

"Then I get hurt Roy-boy. And don't call me Jay'." Jason retorted and Roy scowled

"You're just like Dick sometimes! What is it with the Bat clan and stubbornness? What do you have to prove any more?" Roy hissed and Jason growled and before Roy could twitch he found a gun at his head

"Don't you ******dare** compare me to them! Especially to ******him**!" Jason growled and Roy laughed

"Look I get it- I do okay. But you aren't alone Jay' not any more, what the hell is the point of us if you won't let us help?" Roy asked and Jason swore under his breath

"For fucks sake Roy. Do you not understand what day it it?" Jason snapped and Koriand'r gasps

"Jason...it is that day correct? The day you died." Koriand'r says softly and Jason twitches, pain visibly flashing across his face and he sighs pulling back the gun and placing it in his holster

"Just let me do this by myself." Jason pleads softly, sounding for the first time, his age, Nineteen years old

"Just come home." Roy says calmly and Jason flinches slightly pulling his hand up and placing on his red mask, hiding his face

_**Now**_

Jason had fainted. Jason had fainted. Dick cackled in glee as he looked at his younger brother who was sitting up glaring at him and Bruce simply shot him an unamused look but Dick simply beamed at him

"Go take a running jump Dickwad." Jason snarled

"Language." Bruce reprimanded and Dick laughed mockingly before Bruce let out a darker glare and Dick quickly shut up. Jason shuffled from where he was on the floor and stood up stretching out his tiny body and looking like a kitten as he did so, but now that he was back Dick didn't dare bring up that thought- he may be stuck as the cutest kid in history but Dick didn't have any doubts that Jason wouldn't hesitate to gut him

"So then, what now?" Jason asks, hand on hip and a precocious smirk on his lips

"_Who were you after Jason_?" Bruce asks softly and Jason looked up at Bruce

"A witch, obviously." Jason replies and Bruce knelt down so he was eye level with the miniaturised Jason

"_Why a witch Jason? _Because I can't see a reason for you to go after a witch. I've been looking into crimes that would catch your attention and there hasn't been a witch crime _anywhere _in Gotham, so I'll ask again- why a witch?" Bruce asks eye's blazing and Jason looks away from him

"She was a lead." A voice says from the door and Bruce looks to see Roy leaning against the door frame

"Roy." Bruce drawled in greeting and Roy smirks infuriatingly, Koriand'r coming in through the door and smiling at Jason who was glaring angrily

"Bruce. Nightwing texted me that Jason had fainted." Roy laughs and Bruce looks over at Dick who's holding back a laugh, lips pursed

"A lead you say?" Bruce asks Roy who loses his previously amused expression

"_Roy." _Jason hisses angrily though it has the effectiveness of a kitten spitting

"I'm sorry Jay' but this one's out of our league. If I thought me and Kori' could handle this one I wouldn't be bothering but we need help." Roy replies and Kori' smiles sadly

"Believe me Jason when I say that this is our last option. And although I hold no love for the Justice league I love you two and I won't see this monster destroy us." Kori replies and Jason sighed

"_Joker_. We have reasonable evidence to suggest that the Joker has found a partner in Klarion and Scarecrow is most likely somewhere in that mix as well." Jason said tiredly

"And where does the Witch come into it?" Bruce asks

"She was a lead, someone who hated Klarion at that moment enough to know where to find him." Roy answered

"_Tala_ . Her names Tala. You've met before she's Luthor's witch. But she's also very powerful and very in the know about where Klarion is at all times." Koriand'r speaks up a bright smile on her lips

"_Tala_. You went after Luthor's witch!" Dick exclaimed and Jason snorted

"Did you not just hear that asshole?" Jason answered and Bruce growled

" I would like to understand what possessed you to go after a notoriously dangerous witch alone."Bruce said his voice quiet and eye's narrowed

"I would like to understand why it is any of your business." Jason retorted and the air in the room became tense as the batman emerged with Bruce, dark and dangerous

"I think I heard Tim." Dick says and leaves the room Kori' and Roy following Jason watched them leave then turned his eye's back on Bruce

"_I am your Dad_ . It is inherently my _business_." Bruce says his voice cold and Jason looks at him sadly

"Forgive me for being sceptical about you claiming a paternal right over me when it seems that for so long you have denied it." Jason replies and Bruce moves to the sofa and sits

"_I have made mistakes Jason_ . You once told me you were my greatest failure _but you aren't._ My greatest failure was not what I did do Jason but rather, what I didn't. I forgot in the madness of it all that you are still a child, one who never got to learn all that he should have from me." Bruce says and his voice is dull and broken

"And what would you have taught me Bruce?" Jason asks, eyes narrowed

" I would have taught you to control that anger, the impulsive nature hone it into something spectacular, I would have taught you ethics Jason. I would have taught you why I don't kill. I would have taught you to be _so much more_ then you are now." Bruce replies

"_And what am I now?_ " Jason murmurs softly eye's watching Bruce imploringly

"Lost." His Dad answers

"I'm not _lost_." Jason replies and Bruce sighs

"Yes you are, you're lost and hurting and I never saw it before all of this. Before the Joker even, I never asked you about your life before me and I should have. I know now though. I know it all." Bruce says and Jason's cheeks pale

"_All of it?"_ He whispers, eye's wide as he looks at Bruce

"All of it son." Bruce tells him sadly and Jason runs a hand through his hair

"Even my Father?" Jason asks and Bruce looks at him sadly

"_Even that_." He sighs and Jason whimpers, looking down at the floor

"You're a better Dad then he ever was." Jason says softly looking at his hands and Bruce thinks maybe they're getting somewhere

"I'm still not very good." Bruce admits and Jason closes his eye's

"You're awful sometimes...hear me out...You forget that we're not soldiers, Me, Dick, Replacement, we just fight alongside you. Sometimes you get caught up in this crusade of yours I wonder if you'd notice if we died. But you've proved me and that wrong time and time again I did some snooping and found out you'd hospitalised Joker and I think I'm beginning to understand why you won't kill him. You're awful sometimes- but without you I'd be stuck in Crime Alley or in prison as someone's bitch and I love you for getting me out there. You piss me right off, but I suppose all Dad's do that." Jason confesses

"I love you too kid, so I'm begging, give up this poisonous dream and come home the Joker will kill you if you go after him again." Bruce says to Jason and Jason sighs

"_So_?" He whispers and Bruce feels his heart clench and stands before crouching to Jason's new height and hugging him tightly

"_So? Do you not even realise how precious you are to the people here? To me?"_ Bruce murmurs and Jason rest his head on Bruce's shoulder

"Sometimes I'm so tired Dad. _So fucking tired._ I'm not special like Dick or the Replacement. _I wish I had remained dead Dad_. I don't belong, I don't. It's just day after day after day of this bullshit and I'm one step away from putting a gun to my head and ending it. But I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. _I'm not good enough and I'll just let everyone down again_." Jason says into his shoulder a confession baptised with his tears and Bruce holds Jason out at Arms length, feeling tears prickling his eye's as Jason looks at him in fear

"Is this a suicide mission Jason. _Has it always been a suicide mission_?" Bruce asks his voice breaking halfway through and Jason tries to pull away but Bruce shakes the boys shoulders

"_Jason_! Is this or is this not a suicide mission?" Bruce asks and Jason sobs

"_Dad please-"_ Jason starts and Bruce growls and pulls Jason into his arms, standing up and lifting Jason with him, pulling his son into his lap as he sits on the sofa, trapping Jason tight in his arms as the boy tries to escape

"Answer me." Bruce snarls at him and Jason grips at the man's shirt and tries to pull his mask of stoicism back on but he's still a child and he can't calm down and his breathing is getting faster as he tries to reply

"_Please. Bruce. Please. Stop."_ He begs between gasps and Bruce shifts him so Jason's face is pressed into his chest, his new, tiny body easily fitting in Bruce's arms

"_Jason answer me_." Bruce murmurs and Jason is trying _so _hard, but he's already a wreck from the lack of control and he's so damned tired of lying all the fucking time and saying he's fine

"_Yes_." He whispers in return the confession causes Bruce to grip him even harder until he's worried that he'll bruise

"_You don't leave my sight. I'm not letting you out of my sight until you understand." _Bruce hisses at him

And once again he's disappointed the man

_**HK –**_

_**So sorry for the slow update guys. You've all been fantastic though and your reviews are made of happiness. The interaction between Bruce and Jason is rushed and Bruce is a little violent but I don't really see him being soothing when it involves Jason's life. Also I've been re-watching Under the red hood because Jensen Ackles is my baby and I didn't realise N.P.H played Nightwing and I've been laughing so much every time I think of it. **_

_**Also I'm working on Flash Day's if anyone is reading that as well. I had a burst of inspiration the other day. I'm also getting into writing Star Trek and Les Mis F.F but they're taking a back burner whilst I get a feel of how that sort of F.F needs writing**_

_**I can't stress enough how brilliant you guy's are. Your reviews honestly make me smile. **_

_**And one more thing (Sorry I know this is long) Jason is suicidal but I haven't put any signs of it really because I haven't explored it that much (mainly because I didn't want it to be too obvious)but honestly guys if you ever feel down or like it's getting too much- tell someone, it's the hardest thing to do and it won't make all the problems go away, it's not a miracle cure telling someone but it can lighten the load. Hell if you want to message me. **_

_**So yeah thank you guys please review and fave and wherever you are I hope you're happy and safe,**_

_**HK **_


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